♥ ; I'd dry my eye...
& when you walked away, I count the steps that you take..♥
Monday, March 23, 2009
At least I am not desperate enough to take someone's boyfriend away when it's so clear enough that he's over you. You are just not over it. I don't care if you are not even scared of me, cause I didn't even ask you to be. Your words are just fake and you're just over reacting thinking that he'll come reaching his hands for you. Prove to me that he'll do that. I'm sick and tired of you trying so hard to make me feel angry. I'm am sick and tired of hearing stories about you, scolding and questioning those questioning yang tak perlu to my boyfriend even though he's not even your boyfriend anymore. Come on. You want me to grow up, well you grow up first. Why talk things behind me when you can come to me and talk things out? If you're not scared come on, talk to me instead of writing and doing things behind me. Pretending that you did nothing wrong and make him feel guilty all over his mind.
Don't you pity your own ex-boyfriend? He had just told the world that he found what he wanted. Yet you wanna ruin he's happiness away? This is what you call love? By trying so hard to make him fall down and destroying he's happiness? Come on lah. You told him that you have someone over your life, now go on and stop hurting people feeling and your own feeling. I came by and respect you as his ex girlfriend. Now you gave this as a return. So should I respect you as he's ex girlfriend now? Tell me? If you don't respect your own ex-boyfriend, why should you turn back on yourself?
I am so sure that now you're gonna be there sitting in front of your desktop, reading my blog, getting your eyes burnt and your heart pain. You have this experience, between you and one of he's ex-girlfriend. You know how it feels like when your own boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is not over it. Put yourself in my shoes too cause I am tired of thinking about your feelings and pain too. I'm not the third party in this relationship. But you are. Cause he's over you. Tak paisey ker kalau orang tanyer? Don't you have the feeling of embarrassed? Even your friends support OUR relationship. What else can you say about this ?
Hey, I am sick and tired of writing about you. This is my blog, I should fill it with my life and good memories, not about you. But you just caught my attention and never let go. Stop bothering my relationship will you?
I know, I just knew him, but knowing him this far have made me open my eyes. This is life, this is reality. If you can't accept the reality, it's just the same as you can't accept god's test towards your life. I know it is still so hard. But the clock is ticking. You've got no time anymore to run over things that you know you won't get it. While you yourself have think much that this is still a misery to you. Don't only think about yourself. Think about others too. Or not, just at least pity your own self and wake up from your dreams.
Don't tell me you're not referring what you wrote to me. Cause it is so obvious. Who else will you refer to when you know it's me. I can't win your sacrifices for him. I am not strong enough, I know. but everyone need a room for improvements. I could just fall down from the steps that I am taking. But I am still walking on the same path as him.
I am sorry Sufi, that I wrote all this without your knowledge. Just want you to know, that this is all I can do. Thanks for offering yourself to clean up this mess. You know you still got me. Dear, be strong. You've got me, ur mum and ur friends all by your side supporting you. You've just got to be strong to face this. To face the reality. But it is still up to you to either play this game appropriately or just lose over her. If you win and figured out how to solve this matter, it'd be a perfect time for me to let out everything. You've got my whole love and support. You are Sufi. The new Sufi. I know you love your new life and new self. Don't throw it away, cause your mum and family loves it. And of cause, me, as your Girlfriend.
I'll do what you want me to do. But it's still up to you to either make this as something good or better. It's fun to have this as a game. But if it's making your life worst, look at the clock and wake up from this nightmare. Figure it out , asap .. I don't want you to fall without my hands holding yours cause you're just so precious to me. Like a glass. So brittle, so fragile. If no one catches it when it wanna fall, it will fall into pieces. But you've got me. I'll still be there for you. I am sorry if this is too open to readers. Just bear over it for some time. Dear, it's not your mistake or anyone's. It's only the decision you're gonna be making and the game you're playing. If you win, you got all the treasures you want. But if you lose it, it's gonna be suffering.
Just want you to know. I'm still gonna love you like how I always did. And I'll never ever change that, I promise. You know me well now dear. As much as how much you need me, it's a dozen times how much i really need you. I love you, that's the reason. Think of what your mum had just said. But don't get carried away. Take things at risk. I don't wanna make your life difficult. Cause it's just like how I'm carrying this heavy feeling and letting out a deep breath.
Your's truly,
Nurul Umirah.
♥ 2:58 AM,
Sitting Down Reminiscing
The
Melancholy Feelings
And The Agony Heart.
