& when you walked away, I count the steps that you take..♥
Monday, January 18, 2010
Relationship. 6 Days of enduring lies and sorrows. 5 Days of cries and agony heart. 4 Days of begging for the melancholy love. 3 Days of breaking down. 2 Days of falling apart. 1 Day of arguments.
Firstly, I want to let out things that have been going around to people ears to ears. About me and other guys. Well, yes. I admit. There's maybe someone else suddenly in this part of my life story. But frankly, I hate it if people take it wrongly. When it's the guy, people tried to spice things up that it's not the guy. It's a risky thing for the person who spread it around to actually make things look worse.Secondly, to Muhammad Sufi. Mirah cuma nak kate that Mirah dah banyak sedih with what have been striking on me again and again. But Alhamdullillah. Though that rumours came by you, you know you trust me. Mirah tahu it's pain for you to face this when all I do is just to ignore you, pretend like I don't care about you, and actually hurt your feelings. But seriously, I don't wanna make things worse. I've been thinking too much about other people's feelings, that I forgot, that I've got a feeling too. I didn't know what I did really gave you a big impact. I'd be the luckiest girl if you changed, for now and forever.I know you're clueless for why I did all this. Well, I've got no reasons too. Maybe it's just me and myself. I wanted to be happy, so much. That I find my own happiness without you. It felt awkward, different. I followed my Ego. Cause I doesn't wanna be by yourside. Day after day. I felt that I can't make it. I'm lucky you're still there finding and wanting my love so badly. Dear, you had my love. You have it. You never lose it. You just didn't have my heart. You can't love without a heart. I'm happy that you're taking back all of it. I'm sorry that it hurts you, badly. Thanks for changing yourself for me.
I know, you don't needANYONE ELSE to be there for you EXCEPT for ME. Let me highlight that again,NO ONE ELSE, EXCEPT FOR MIRAH. So I'm making sure that you'd be alright again after this. I just hope that things will get better.
ps;/ I love the post, in your blog, dear.
sigh, I wish I didn't feel this way. I really hope all this didn't happen. We're left with 10more days before our 1st anniversary. It's pain to heal an unwanted feeling. But it's enough for me to hurt your feelings. Dear, it's the last straw that is given to you. Don't lose it. Cause I might fall.
School.
It's been such a tight schedule for me. So much things I have to catch up with. Lots of drawings need to be done. Lots of ideas waiting to be define. I'll be so busy cause I'd be spending my time wisely at school. I have to start going off early from home to school, have to complete all that is to be done wisely.
Friends.
I know some of my friends that are apart away from me, have seen my condition. For that, I apologise to you guys for what I've done. It's not a good reason for me to give if I were to say, it's just that I need to spare a time for my boyfriend. But trust me, for now he needs me to be there. I really hope you guys will understand when I'm missing in action, here and there. I know you guys will always be there for me when I'm in need. But I'm looking for someone that would be there even when I'm in the last dot of my life. I appreciate everyone that was there when I was in need. To listen to my cries, happiness and sorrows. But Mirah minta maaf banyak-banyak, if I did a mistake of ignoring you guys when I'm with my boyfriend. Not that, but I just need a time to change things between our life. I want to be happy, I want him to be happy, and ofcause, I want you guys to be happy too. I'm sorry that I was in my own world of relationship. But I realize all that. All I need is just time to heal myself..
This song, is dedicated to us. dear.. =)
LIRIK: (Rap) Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal Bila aku gunakan, kau yang menyangkal Bagaimana nak kekal Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda Bila aku gunakan, kau yang tak percaya Bagaimana nak bahagia
Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku) Kaulah derita (bagimu) Esok lusamu Tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
(Rap) Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa Bagaimana hendak ku lupa bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu Jikalau setiap hari merindu Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia.. Aku pilih derita..
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku) Kaulah derita (bagimu) Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama Akan ku biar tiada ku tetap kan setia Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah
(Ulang) (2x) Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula
(Rap) Seandainya kau berada di depan mata Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu Apalagi memandangku Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan.. Aku masih terkilan
(Rap) Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu Baru kau tahu derita hatiku Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu Baru kau ingat derita diriku Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku Apa gunanya bahgia Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu Aku pilih derita merinduimu
♥ 7:32 PM,
Sitting Down Reminiscing The
Melancholy Feelings And The Agony Heart.
Secondly, to Muhammad Sufi.
I know you're clueless for why I did all this. Well, I've got no reasons too. Maybe it's just me and myself. I wanted to be happy, so much. That I find my own happiness without you. It felt awkward, different. I followed my Ego. Cause I doesn't wanna be by yourside. Day after day. I felt that I can't make it. I'm lucky you're still there finding and wanting my love so badly. Dear, you had my love. You have it. You never lose it. You just didn't have my heart. You can't love without a heart. I'm happy that you're taking back all of it. I'm sorry that it hurts you, badly. Thanks for changing yourself for me.
